VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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