i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
