just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
