I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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