He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
