sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
