This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
