so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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