Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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