is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
