I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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