i just wanna soil my oats bro
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize