Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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