my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
