He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
