I heard we made out
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
