Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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