HIV tests are more positive than that guy
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
