I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize