Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
