If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
