She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
