If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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