don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
