do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
