Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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