i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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