Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
