Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
