I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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