I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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