your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
