we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
