I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
