and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
