Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
