I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
