But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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