# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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