You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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