Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize