how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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