Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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