Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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