You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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