We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize