why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
