I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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