Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize