So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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