I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
