maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
