Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
