talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize