are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
