rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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