If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
