this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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