No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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