I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
