why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
