There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
