First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
