Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
