Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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