if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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