I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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